After all that happened at Grand Outlandish, one could expect some lunacy in am Mor Salann Fasach in June.  Thus, on 10 June A.S. XIII (1978), that lunacy occurred.

When word spread throughout the Shire that some Evil Enchanter had spirited away the gift of stationery destined for Their (soon-to-be) Highnesses Wilhelm and Megan, the shirefolk rallied swiftly and determined that the Lost Must Be Found–and so we went On Quest.

Autocratted by Lord Gallowglass, the shirefolk (augmented by Captain Sir Nicholas de Kane and Lady Katherine Holford, visiting from Caerthe) gathered at the Sherwood Hills Resort where it was rumored that the Royal Gift was hid.

At opening court Lord Gallowglass, on behalf of the fighters of the shire, presented Sir Robert de Spencer with a beautiful white belt in gratitude for his devoted service as Shire Knight Marshall. Then Thorad son of Bjorg presented a glass mug he had etched to Sir Robert as a gift for the Shire’s new “baby knight.” Lady Elaine of the Lion’s Tale started the shire’s First Cloved Lemon (250 cloves worth!) on its way. Some practice bouts were held to prepare the fighters to meet some of the challenges of The Quest.

At last the Shire prepared itself for The Quest by dividing into seven teams that began their Epic Search in different areas of the Resort. All the teams searched most diligently, but the speediest in finding its way through the obstacles was that led by Sir Mika, Lord Longbow and consisting of Lady Thamzine of the North Sea, Katherine of Land’s End, Kathleen of Brookmere and Maya. The Shire rejoiced that the gift was recovered and set themselves to celebrate by even more frenzied passing of the lemon while trying activities that ranged from jump rope to dancing in between Creative Abductions. The people later settled down long enough to hear the Tall Tale Contest–and the bare-faced effrontery of some of those stories was enough to make your blood run cold (even if the weather hadn’t already been doing it).

After a break to prepare for the banquet, the people gathered for a procession before settling down to a meal of cornish game hen with all the trimmings. Also, the Wizard’s Guild found a volunteer (Thorad son of Bjorg) to wear a medallion for the next month that was guaranteed to have magic properties.

The sumptuous repast over, the business for the evening turned out to be a kissing auction to benefit the shire coffers and The Questing Quill. The enthusiastic auctioneers were Sir Nicholas for the ladies and Lady Ferelith for the lords. Before the money pouches were emptied for the evening, $265.00 had been raised with $42.00 of this being bid on Lady Katherine Holford (an Outlandish record, Sir Nick said) by a group of gentlemen that included some “Defenders of the Abbey”. The other top sellers were: Sir Mika ($40.00), the Belted Circle (consisting of Sir Mika, Sir Nick, and Sir Robert–$37.00), Sir Nicholas ($35.00) and Lord Gallowglass ($32.00). The only difficulty in the Kissing Auction was when Lady Thamzine, Lady Kate and Lady Leah de Spencer barricaded themselves in the ladies room when Sir Nick attempted to auction them off. Then their lords most indiscreetly followed them in and Sir Nick made a big impression (probably his “Courtly Cod” helped) by blundering into the wrong stall.

When things had settled down, Lady Elaine presented the now denuded lemon to her lord, Thorad. When the cloves were counted, Sir Nick was found to have the most (18) and so won a goblet to be etched by Thorad. The winners of the contests were announced and the scrolls were presented. The Creative Abduction Contest was won by the Ladies of Hastle Castle for their spirited abduction of their “daddy,” Sir Nick. (Never did I think to see Sir Nick struggling against being carried off by three ladies.) The Tall Tale Contest was won by Sir Robert for his harrowing tale of how he became “Conqueror of the Great Brine Shrimp.” Then the List of Chivalry was awarded to Thorad son of Bjorg and the List of Grace to Katlin of Erinfel.

After the traditional “hip-hipping” of everything from the Kingdom to the autocrat, the tired but triumphant people of the shire gathered up their things and began to wend their various ways to their homes.

Submitted this 4th day of July, A.S. XIII by Lady Ferelith MacDonald

From The Questing Quill, Vol. II Issue VII, July, A.S. XIII